Rythm of Life

Writing at least 500 words everyday for 31 days: Challenge Accepted.

Just Write. I enjoy doing what is called soul writing. Usually I write whatever is on my heart without editing myself. it is a lot easier to do by hand, but it is a lot easier to reread and understand on the computer.  Aside from that I simply enjoy the concept of “stream of consciousness” writing, its light and it doesn’t need to be perfect.

Like me, I’m anything but perfect. But I do believe in the eyes of God, Imperfection becomes “I’mPerfection” I choose to find the best- the flawsomeness in myself and others. That’s right, combine Flaws and Awesome and you get “FLAWSOME”. I took this from a popular comedian from the Philippines. Vice Ganda. LOVE HER, I recommend her to any and everyone. As an ally I support the rights for everyone on the spectrum. In my trip in Italy, I was introduced to the idea that everyone is somewhere on the spectrum and that not everyone is 100% straight. Which is something I can live with. I mean I would think blasphemy to say I did not admire a beautiful woman, hello… #WCW Women Crush Wednesday. And it’s not even Wednesday. Oh, wait yes it is. Well I should post something… I don’t know it’s hard to say. Do I emulate the beauty or the brains, my friends or family, celebrities, or myself. If there is someone I admire in this world its my mom. She is my #WCW officially in my life. For one, she gave birth to me, so she gets a headstart, and she also put up with me in her stomach for, I don’t know 8months. Well either way, she still puts up with me. I feel a bit ashamed to say it, but Mom I know… I doubt you would ever come across this page, but if you do read this. I messed up. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you stressed out for my inconceivable attitude. But I did. Now I’m facing the wrath of the “mad mom” and boy let me tell you it’s not a pretty sight. My mom with her all loving eyes and subtle smile just knows how you tell you everything you never thought you wanted to hear, WITHOUT saying a word. You know that look. Despite the misunderstandings, and maybe the multiple world wars between my mom and I, I still love her. It’s hard to be a perfect daughter, in fact if a mom and daughter didn’t fight, I would be worried. Not for the aftermath of the stress and what have you. But the process of learning. I will always want to learn for myself, yet somethings are better learned from the wise and left to the people who already made mistakes. If there is something I think my mom always wanted me to do and learn from her mistakes. Yet I still insist on making my own mistakes. I find that when you start to live life for yourself, in all it’s boundless wonder and glory you also start to forget the people who gave it to you. Granted my mom and dad did bring me up into this world, I have also forgotten God. It’s hard. I think I may be oversharing… Infact I think that’s what blogs are about. Sharing. Over sharing is a different level but still. I know God gave us the ten commandments, one of them saying to Honor thy parents. But I also thought that God gave us a seed in our heart, and this seed is our dreams, destiny, and soul purpose in life. It is our duty to fulfill it and allow the seed to grow. Protect the dream. But… then again dreams are not really worth having fulfilled if family and friends are not there to enjoy the bounty with you.

Today I learned the song by Freddie Aguilar, a Filipino folk singer/guitarist, called anak.

The lyrics and the translation are sooo touching. The song entails the story of how children are brought into the world by their parents, given all the love even by the parents sacrifices to provide for them but then the child changes and strays away from the parents and their counsel. I literally cried when I hear this song. It’s sooooooooooo touching. The story-telling style of this song is so strong, there is no repeated chorus except for the last lines. These lines translated in English say “Regretting and in your mind you realize, you made a mistake”.

I’ve made a mistake, a big mistake. I may even be bold to say I’ve failed in some way. But I look at failing as F.A.I.L. First Attempt In Learning. So I learned a whole lot, and one thing I’ve still got to learn is self control for my emotions and managing stress. Well then.

I will sing the song. Just kidding, here is the song lyric and translation. ANAK

Mom, Dad. I've made a mistake. I will work on fixing it.